Conference Inspiration

I did something tonight that has been extremely hard for me to even think about doing.
After the last couple years of having a feud with my former roommate, who I refer to as Lydia in order to protect her identity, I decided it was time for me to apologize.
If you look back at some of my posts from 2010, you can find out a little about what went on between us. Though I am not releasing her from any fault, I know I wasn't blameless in our feud. After listening to General Conference this weekend, especially President Uchdorf's talk on Sunday morning, I felt like this was something I really had to do. She hurt me. But I have been hurting myself by not being able to totally let go of what happened and forgive her. And I have felt, for a while, like the only way I could really forgive her for the way she hurt me would be for me to apologize for my own behavior during our time as roommates.
I was a little childish. I felt at the time that I had good reason to feel and act the way I did. But I don't think that way anymore. Even if I felt justified, that doesn't make my behavior right. I'm not saying I should have let her walk all over me, but I probably could have done things differently and avoided some of the hurt.
I don't care if she apologizes to me. Or if I ever hear what she thought about my apology. I just felt like it was something I needed to do. Because I have no way of contacting her directly, since I blocked her on Facebook, deleted her number from my phone and essentially wanted nothing to do with her ever again, I decided to go through a third party. I hope this doesn't offend that person, because things have been good between the two of us for the past several months. She is the only link I have to Lydia that I feel knows the story enough to be willing to pass on my apology.
I don't want to be friends with Lydia. I don't know if that will ever happen for us. We have clashing personalities. And it's okay not to like everyone or be liked by everyone. I'm becoming more okay with that the older I get. I do need to be able to forgive her. And I hope she will be able to forgive me. I hope we have both grown up in the last couple years enough that we can do this. I especially hope that I have matured enough to finally let go. I guess only time will tell, but I feel like I am taking the right steps now.