I'm having a hard time. And feeling like I shouldn't be.
I need to ask for help. But I don't want to. It feels too hard.
I feel so unprepared to move in two days. Nothing feels like it's going right. People who normally would help can't. And the people I want to help least (Roomie from KY) can and have offered it, but I would rather they weren't around.
I feel like everything is going wrong. I exhausted. I feel lazy. I feel worried all the time. I feel hurt and betrayed and lied to. And somehow I still have a hard time feeling like it's okay for me to feel that way. Because I shouldn't be treated the way I have been by anyone. But especially not by people who are supposed to be my friends.
It feels like I'm being torn in two. Because I know it's not okay. But I feel like maybe it should have been. Like maybe I deserved it. Even though I can't think of a valid reason. I need to stop thinking like this.